Thursday, July 28, 2011

Crashing Back To Earth...

Niki Leach, writing as Jean Victoria Norloch opens up her heart to her readers and allows them a rare glimpse into the tortured soul of those suffering from chronic pain and depression. As she journeys through her own personal trials and tribulations on the road to wellbeing she carries the reader along on an eye opening adventure into the deepest parts of self. Begun as a way to uplift and inspire others, Crashing Back to Earth soon became her own personal healing tool as her body waged war with her Spirit and she for a time lay in bed unable to move. Paralyzed by emotional and physical pain, she sought a way to break free from her self-made prison, in the end reaching out to the one true friend that has been with her from the beginning, her trusted pen.
After a month long period of revelations and self discoveries, set back’s and leaps of faith she discovered within herself the power to not only heal her soul but to heal her body. Through her deep connection to Spirit and with a little help from her friends she not only managed to get back on her feet but to find her wings as well and take flight into a new life full of laughter and light.
Within these pages you will read her most straight forward and honest work to date, completely unveiled and hiding nothing she shares with her readers a vision of an incredible world full of empowered individuals who no longer need others to help them move forward.
As for Niki (Jean) she is walking, running and enjoying all of the things she did before with the addition of a new found appreciation for her own value and worth as an author and a friend. Follow her journey from pleasure to sorrow, from sorrow to pain, from pain to despair, from despair to hope, from hope to faith and finally from faith to knowing... As she says, it is in the knowing that all things are possible, the knowing that all things are well, that the world will discover its ability to create wonders far beyond the limits of our current understanding.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

EVERYDAY CONNECTION - With Special Guest Sri Gawn Tu Fahr...

The expression of love in its purest form can be witnessed in the sharing of music, poetry and the enfettered release of thought and feeling through the written word. Tonight’s guest was a shining example of what it means to allow the light within to flow out freely from us to embrace the hearts of those we share our lives with. To allow others to see us as we are, naked in our imperfection and to relish in our humanity is to encourage others to also accept and embrace their own unique connection to Spirit. We are so appreciative of the wisdom shared with us tonight by our guest Sri Gawn Tu Fahr – author of Love’s True Home, and are so happy to be able to offer you a glimpse into his world as he shares with us his own unique brand of humour in honour of the Spirit that flows through us all. As usual just click the magic play button and join us on tonight’s journey into love, light and laughter.

To learn more about Sri Gawn Tu Fahr and his truly uplifting collection of thought and feeling entitled Love’s True Home you can connect with him by visiting his website

Thanks again for taking time out of your day to come share a moment and play with us. Love to you all – Rick and Jean xo

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Take These Broken Wings (an excerpt from my new book - unedited)

This particular chapter might be a tad long, but it is an important glimpse into my current understanding; the same understanding that allowed me to go from not able to dress myself to being able to touch my toes in the period of one month. This chapter is part of the new book I am soon releasing on healing self, it is unedited and very blunt. Yet given that my recovery was shocking to my doctor it seemed prudent to document the journey I took to discover the power within.

Take These Broken Wings...
So named because only moments before I began work on this chapter the video for that particular song arrived in my inbox; it was one of my favourites growing up and even then I viewed the message of love within to be much more than that of the love between a man and woman. Mr. Mr., such an oddly named group of closet romantics, creators of some of the greatest music of that time, music that had lasting power due to the universal truths that could be found in the lyrics. “Take these broken wings and learn to fly again in love so free, and when we hear the voices sing the book of love will open up and let us in”...
I had to read the previous chapter a few times to digest it and come to terms with just how well my US knows my me, and as hard as it is been to admit I realize now that I did need George. Due to my own unwillingness to see value and worth in my own experiences, to see the strength and power of my personal connection to the Creator I needed something to validate the information that my heart was telling me to be my Truth. I imagine that George will always be my way of explaining those whispers in my heart that I now know to be that of both self and of the energy that Created me. Yet to my understanding it goes so much further than that and it is something that I think I am going to enjoy immensely exploring the truth of in the coming year. Before we get into it however I would like to toss in a couple other things that happened to come up a few moments before I began to write.
Also in my inbox a message from Neale Donald Walsch’s messenger service to which I subscribed over a year ago and now only occasionally get messages from. Today’s random “I Believe God Wants You to Know” was the following.... “that imagination is your greatest gift. Do not be afraid to use it. Imagine yourself as being okay right now. Totally okay. Imagine yourself as Whole, Complete, and Perfect. With nothing to change, nothing to "improve." Imagine your heart as being open again, your life as if it were starting over in the most important ways. Can you imagine this? Then you have just created Tomorrow.”
It makes perfect sense of course given the previous chapter, and my desire to further my work as a completely whole integrated blended being. I imagine that it is in the knowing that all is well and as it should be that I will find the strength and the courage to stand behind the things I have written about in the past, the things I am writing about now and the things I will continue to share with my readers in the future.
Not wanting to ignore the trend that seemed to be developing as far as the accuracy of the messages that we call to us for confirmation in times of need I went exploring a little and checked out my horoscope for the day...
Courtesy of
March 10, 2011
There's a thin haze between your reality and your inner mind today, but it's not an unpleasant sensation at all. It's like you're hovering above it all, looking down on your life from a whole new vantage point. Routine people and places take on new significance and open your mind to novel methods and goals. Your emotions are even right now, so it could be a good time to initialize a difficult conversation with someone you care about.”
Interesting that, when you think about it; given the place I find myself in today, embarking on this new acceptance of self as being completely whole and perfectly capable in my wholeness to also be completely well and to share my wellness with others. Routine people will take on whole new meaning as I look at them through the eyes of perfection and see them as being perfectly perfect as they are. This by the way is a uniquely novel idea in our day and age when our beliefs are still coloured by our perceptions of the faults in others. As for initiating a difficult discussion with somebody I care about well I imagine that would be you my readers as it is there are still a couple difficult topics I am wishing to touch on before we move onto the next chapter. Some of what I will have to say may not be easy for some out there to hear yet they are my own thoughts and observations and I feel it is well within my right to share them.
Finally in keeping with an old tradition began way back when I wrote my first novel, I thought it might be fun to also check out my daily Tarot...
Also courtesy of
“The Three of Swords card suggests that my power today lies in truth or consequences. Denial or control is no longer an option and I am ready to experience a breakthrough. My suffering, fear, or emotional loss is/was valid, incredible and deserves to be acknowledged and expressed in order to heal or transform the sacrifice. I am empowered by recognition and my virtue is choice.”
I swear I did not read these before writing the previous chapter and only went searching for them after reading the chapter a few times myself and seeing an opportunity to perhaps validate some of what was explained within it. Of course as usual, as I ask, so too is it given and confirmation galore comes forth.
So where does it leave us, nearing the end of this little adventure into self, what have I learned?
I guess I have to start with acknowledging that I have come to terms with who and what I am, although I still can’t walk on water my worth and value as an author are no longer a part of my inner struggle. I might yet someday decide to try the whole walking on water thing but to be honest I am rather hoping to not go it alone and if and when I do accept within me the power to do such things it will be not something that others would view as miraculous as they too will have found the power also within them. Perhaps then we can stroll across oceans together and banter about the ‘good old days’ when we needed boats to float, and planes to fly. I believe that in time we as a race will get there and though many may argue the point I doubt very much you will ever shake my faith in that idea; I see us as an ever advancing species; constantly evolving with no limits to our potential or to where our evolution will take us. I see in my minds eyes a world where miracles abound, and are therefore no longer considered to be anything other than our everyday way of making our lives easier and for the most part much more fun.
As for when we will get there well I guess that brings up the first touchy topic to tackle (say that three times fast).
Ascension vs. evolution…
When you ascend you go back home, to source, until you come back here to evolve; when you evolve you get to stay here and do things to change the world in which we live in, the idea being of course that you have as much fun as possible while you are doing it.
I spent a lot of time in the last year hanging out with different people who had a variety of different views on what these two words mean to us as a race of beings. The arguments are still being made as to what lies in store for us in the upcoming years of transformation and theories run rampant among the various light worker and healer communities. They are all of course entitled to their own opinion as far out and wacky as some of them seem to be they might turn out to be right if they can convince enough of the population that they are. As it is my understanding of how this whole mass consciousness thing works, we have to collectively decide as a whole which direction we wish to go in order to affect the entire planet. The collective intent has to reach a critical mass if it is to change things on a global scale in the way that some of our current leaders and healers have suggested it will. There are a whole bunch of them out there, offering up their thoughts and feelings on this very important issue and for the most part they seem to be pretty much in alignment with one another although on closer examination you may see some glaring differences in their perceptions of what our future is going to be. Many claim to ‘know’ definitively what is going to be and how it is going to occur; some even claim to ‘know’ exactly when it will all take place. What I find interesting is that after studying some of those who claim to know the appropriate dates and times I have come to the conclusion that as the world changes so to do the dates of ascension.
So far for all the material I have read, watched, studied and discussed I have had to come to a very stunning conclusion; not a one of them has a clue as to how exactly this is all going to turn out. I do however have an idea as to why that is and it has come to me through a few discussions with others who have noticed the same thing. The most honest answer I have ever gotten from anybody with regards to the future and the much talked about 2012 is that they really have no idea since humanity as a whole has not made up its’ mind yet in which direction they would like to fly the evolution ship. Will there be aliens? I dunno? Do you want there to be? Could be fun if they are nice aliens…
Will there be mass destruction, death and the planetary cleansing that some have claimed to be imminent? I dunno? Do you want there to be? I doubt that would be much fun…
Or will there be a gradual shift in thought and feeling? A gentle awakening to self on an individual basis leading into the awareness of being a part of a collective whole? Will we through this new revelation of our inner power use it to heal ourselves, each other and by extension our Mother Earth? Will we learn to live in harmony with our Mother and find peace in our acceptance of our unity while rejoicing in our diversity and individuality? Will we continue this process of evolution with a new appreciation for the experience and the process knowing that it is through this process and experience that our whole (God) may continue also to expand and to grow?
Sounds much more fun to me to do it that way, sounds more like an adventure does it not? More interesting, as it will give us time to learn more about each other and our world while we learn to work together to build a self sustaining global community that nurtures our planet instead of robbing her of her virtues. Yes much more fun…
But if you would like to do it another way by all means go ahead, the choice as they say is yours. That brings me to my next topic, the discussion of what reality is. It is my understanding that the magical truth about the ALL is that time and space do not essentially exist outside of our perception of it. In short there is nothing there really except our visions birthed from our thoughts and our feelings. If this is true then we can change it as much and as often as our understanding of these things will allow us to. When we speak in terms of reality I imagine that if you could cross the matrix with Harry Potter, add in a little Star Wars (the teachings of Yoda) and sprinkle in a bit of Star Gate (interdimensional travel) we might be getting close to the truth of it. The trouble is they (our leaders and scientists) are only now beginning to understand this on a level that they can and are willing to pass this information onto the rest of the world wide population. Some of these things they have known for decades but have been unwilling to share for a multitude of reasons. Some of them would prefer I am sure to keep us all unaware of our power so that they may in turn stay in power. Some believe the race of humans to not yet be ready for these truths on a global scale, thinking humans to be still too self-destructive and selfish. There are no doubt varying degrees of this yet for all their work to keep their secrets too much of the world has through the use of the internet and other various forms of global communication been able to assist each other in seeking out the truth and so secrets that have been kept for decades are now finally being revealed. It is all part of the process of course, it is how we evolve our understanding; this sharing of information is how we grow and expand as a race and how ultimately we will join forces as a whole connective force intent on healing our world.
Healing our world; this brings now to mind the next observation that I feel I need to share. Although it may make some not so happy to hear I feel as I have just recently went through the process I should probably clarify my own stance on healing. There are too many different ways out there to mention or even keep track of and as I have already said it is up to each person to figure out what works for them. I do have some words of caution however; it would appear that there is a rather large amount of healers out there who are doing their best to make sure people never get better. As much as that may shock you, it seems to me that many of them are rather enjoying the position they now have with regards to having the welfare and general wellbeing of others in their hands. As much as this has often been said about our large pharmaceutical companies and other corporate conglomerates I now have to point out that they may not be alone in this action. I cannot speak to the volume of how many out there are doing this but from my own experience I have run into a few healers who go to great lengths to stretch out the healing process, make it last and even in some cases set their patients up for a fall or relapse. Yes I am talking about those in the wholistic healing community, as sad as that may seem; it happens. As to the why of it happening I imagine they too have varied reasons for this and many of the offenders likely have no idea they are doing it. You see it occurred to me while I was going through the process of healing myself that it was those who were working with me to help me heal myself were doing so for the sake of helping me get better so I would have the strength to continue my journey. Those however who were telling me how they could make me better were doing so for the sake of the sense of self worth and importance they felt in the act of healing somebody. I even asked one of these people at one point to teach me how to do it myself rather than do it for me, to which he responded that it was not something that you could just learnt over night and it took years of practice to accomplish such a feat. Well that’s bullshit, as it is now March and as of a little over a month ago I could hardly walk without crying and now I am almost back to full mobility and my pain is something I only think on when it seems important to remember how much pain I was in. As to that remembering my pain thing, I only do it long enough to remind myself what others out there who are suffering are going through so I may stay in a place of empathy with regards to their struggles; I do not however revisit it long enough to allow it to take over. I have played with that as well and it is possible if after a few hours of concentrating on the pain you used to feel that the pain will come back full force. I was shocked to discover that it was my denial of the pain that was in effect keeping it at bay but it seems only now to come back if I allow it to. How on earth that takes years to teach is beyond me but then I suppose if you need to feel needed it does not do to have your patients miraculously heal, because once they are healed they don’t much need you anymore.
The same can be said for teachers and guru’s as well, some of them out there are taking the long way around at teaching people what they know making a big production out of it; and I might add making a killing off their students (financially) while they are at it. While I cannot sit here and offer up the truth that all truths are valid then tell you that some of the organizations claiming to be schools of healing and learning are full of crap I can offer you the advice to always be cautious in your approach when it comes to who you are going to offer your time and energy to. Trust me when I tell you, not all the people out there have your best interests at heart and though I would like to believe that humans are essentially good there are times when power can get to a person’s head. It would seem sometimes that the bigger the group gets the more the leaders of it feel they have to fight to keep it alive and growing. Watch that you don’t get burned, that’s all… because even some of those who I wrote about in my second book turned out not to be who they said they were and no names mentioned by me but it may have been better for me perhaps if I had double checked some of my info before aligning with people who turned out to not be on the up and up. (for that I am sorry it was not of course my intention to lead anybody astray but we live and learn. I have never claimed to be anywhere close to perfect, the way I see it the day I reach perfection is also the day I am perfectly dead – perfection is not for the living – it would just be too damn boring)
There are some powerful and well grounded teachers of truth out there, some very loving people whose soul desire it is to see our planet and its people advance to a time of peace and unity. You can find them everywhere around the world and they all use different methods and techniques to assist their students to open their hearts and minds to their own inner light. I applaud them for their efforts as well as the time and love that they show to each individual who crosses their path; they are the living examples of blended beings of our time and you will know them when you see them. They are genuine, never hiding where they have come from, where they have been or past choices they may have made that at the time might have been viewed by others to be mistakes. It is in the opening up of their hearts to yours that they encourage you to find the strength to heal and if you allow them they will gently guide you to your next step and celebrate on your behalf after you have moved on. A good teacher or guide knows their student will not always be around because if you are a teacher or a guide who is doing his/her job properly then your student should eventually not need you anymore. That is a day to rejoice.
If however your teacher or guide is filling you full of the idea that their way is the only way… you need to reevaluate if this particular teacher or guide is right for you. There are too many paths to truth for one way to be the only way, and yes I realize almost every Christian in the world is going to be screaming at me right now that Christ is the only path to righteousness but my answer to that is … Yes you are right but your understanding of that truth is possibly a little different than mine.
As it is my understanding that the word Christ does not so much represent a person as it does the connection between man and God, to be awakened to the Christ consciousness is to be aware of the ever present connection between you and source energy (that of the Creator) that flows forth into all that has been created. Jesus is often called Christ and vice versa yet when I think about Jesus and the life he lived I see him as a living breathing example of Christ consciousness and through his time here on Earth as a blended being he became the representation of Christ here on Earth. The problem with this is that some seem to view this as something special and unique yet he himself often said that he was no different from those he ministered to and it is in my heart to state quite plainly that I would think he would be irritated just a tad at how high he has been elevated above the common people who he so cherished. I have for the most part in my writings maintained the respectful habit of capitalizing the first letter of any word that was meant to represent Jesus yet there have been times when it has been more than tempting to not bother to do it at all. So in keeping with my new belief that I have to stand by my me I have not done so in this chapter, Interestingly enough I noticed today they don’t do it in the Bible either, so why should I? Blasphemy you cry… but honestly I do not believe that is how he wished to be remembered, I would think that the only time he would want you to elevate him to the title of son of God is when you elevate yourself right along with him; that was his goal, to help man elevate himself to a place of freedom. Sigh… but I guess some of us got that just a little twisted round and I suppose that too is as it was meant to be.
Sadly it has led many down a path of self righteousness as a opposed to righteousness and for all that the New Age community wars constantly with the Christians with regards to this issue neither group is in my opinion one lick better than the other. Before you get up in my face about this please allow me to explain. Among the Christians there are some purely good people who only desire to help others, they live for the most part quietly content with their knowledge of Christ, spend time with their Christian friends celebrating the word of God and in their free time they offer up some of their own energy and love to those in need by way of volunteering to care for the sick or feeding the hungry. If of course somebody asks them where their strong sense of inner peace comes from they are more than happy to explain yet for the most part you would never know they are Christians except perhaps by the radiating glow of love that emanates from the very core of their being. A glow you will no doubt feel and bask in if you get close enough; it is this light that pulls others to come to understand the value of connecting to the spirit. On the other hand there are a whole bunch of Light Workers out there who have never set foot in a church in their life but understand fully the value and importance of caring for their fellow man because they recognize fully the interconnectedness of all things. These you can find just about anywhere and it is again doubtful that you would know them to be children of the New Age unless of course they happen to offer you healing or assistance of some kind when you seem to be struggling with either your physical or emotional health. They will offer a gentle supporting hand and guidance if you request it but they do not go out looking for people to help; they expect that as their understanding of the universe is that as long as they live a life of peace, serenity and love those in need will be drawn to them at the appropriate time.
Then we have those others, and we could list almost every single belief system out there because out of all of these teachings have come students who fully understand the value and the importance of the teachings when integrating those teachings into their everyday lives. They love and live the truths they have learned and do so with a quiet acceptance that their truth may be different than others and make no judgments of others for going their own way and living their own truths… Often times this leads them also into careers in the arts or healing and regardless of what belief system they learned to connect through they cherish that knowledge and use it to further bring peace not just into their own lives but also into the lives of everybody they happen to share their time with.
All in all, the pursuit of connection to the spirit seems to be a very healing thing for all involved; until of course you come across a fanatic, somebody who is of that rare breed who has the idea set in their head and their heart that their path to God is the only path to God and there may be no other allowable path to God. They have studied diligently for a lifetime the teachings of their chosen faith with eyes closed to the possibility that their faith may not be the only legitimate faith. These people should be avoided if you can manage, as it does no good really to fight them on it, trust me when I say it is not likely they will change their minds. Fanatics come from all belief systems but as we are for the moment discussing the Christians and the New Agers allow me to further my explanation of this phenomenon.
Enter the Christian who claims that to believe that Jesus died on the cross to save us all is the only way for mankind to be saved…I have had conversations with these kinds of people before and they do not enjoy my more open minded view. I asked a priest once to explain to me how he could justify the idea of some poor tribal member in the jungle going to hell simply because he has never seen a Bible or heard of Jesus. The man told me that it is the responsibility of the Christian to make sure that the word of God is spread to others, and if the poor jungle man ends up in hell it is due to the failings of the Christians for not reaching out far enough into the world to bring the good word deep into the jungles of Peru. So I asked just to clarify; if that is the case and the Christian believes in Jesus dying on the cross to save us from our sins but the poor dude from the Peruvian rainforest goes to hell when he dies because the Christian failed at his given task does the Christian then still get to go to Heaven. Oddly the priest did not have an answer…
Another man however was so stuck on his faith that he had no qualms about spouting illogical and irrational thoughts. I challenged him by asking if a woman who had dedicated her life to raising abandoned children, taking them from the street, providing for them food, shelter, clothing, education and love died would she go to heaven or hell… His answer was Heaven of course… So what, I added if she happened to be say… a Muslim… Hell was his next answer and what stunned me is that he sounded really sad about it as if his heart told him it should not be so yet he could not bring his mind to contemplate any other possibility.
So every once in a while it appears that you will get the odd Christian who fully believes that if you do not accept that Christ died on the cross to save us from our sins, no matter that you were raised in a jungle oblivious to the teachings of the Bible or that you had given your life over to the service of your fellow man; you are still screwed and you’re going to hell. Sorry I just don’t buy it and to those people I have to say ‘get over yourselves’. Believing in Christ does not mean you have a one way ticket to heaven love, sorry that’s not the way it works…
But if you don’t believe me here is what Jesus himself had to say on the matter…
Mathews 7: 21
“Not everyone who calls me ‘Lord, Lord’ will enter the kingdom of Heaven, but only those who do what my Father in Heaven wants them to do.” 22 “When the judgment day comes, many will say to me, “Lord, Lord! In your name we spoke God’s message, by your name we drove out many demons and performed many miracles!”23”Then I will say to them, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me you wicked people”
Luke 9 :46
“An argument broke out among the disciples as to which one of them was the greatest.”47”Jesus knew what they were thinking, so he took a child, stood him by his side,”48”and said to them, ‘whoever welcomes this child in my name, welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me also welcomes the one who sent me. For the one who is least among you all is the greatest”.
Now you can interpret these to mean anything you wish them to, for myself I believe that it was ever Jesus’ message to understand the importance of both the connection to spirit and to each other. He cautioned his listeners often against pride and for me it was his way of encouraging them to not feel that their knowledge in any way raised them above others. I have never felt that is was OK to be proud of our knowledge of God; to rejoice in it yes, to be enthusiastic about it most certainly, to revel in the feeling of it, absolutely but never to dangle that knowledge over the hearts and minds of those who may not understand. For me it has never been enough to just simply shout praises to the Lord, and it is in my heart to acknowledge that those who live a life in line with Jesus’ teachings even if they have never heard his name will still find their way to heaven as it was through his life that he set an example for salvation and taught us how to bring heaven to us here on Earth.
Christian’s it seems are not alone with their Ego. One of the terms I have found of late to be the most aggravating to me with regards to the New Age community is the term enlightened. There are those who walk around with this sense of huge ego due to the time they have spent studying the ancient teachings that are being brought forth now in our times of trial. To be more than blunt there is nothing more irritating to me than the person who claims to be enlightened and then spends most of their energy wasted on focusing on how many people are NOT…
I have recently been chatting with a new friend about his journey into self and his own personal experiences with his quest for knowledge and truth. One of the things he often states is that he has had to let go of this person or that person in the last year because he found them to not be integrous (his word not mine and one he uses much too frequently for my liking) and since he wishes to surround himself with those of a more enlightened mind he cannot bare the company of those who have less integrity than he…
Give it a rest already, if you truly understood the term enlightened you would also get the hint that wherever a person is at any given moment on their path is exactly where they are meant to be because it is exactly where they have chosen to be. Opps… which means by pointing these few facts out that I myself am not quite there yet. Or does it?
That’s where another confusing element to this comes into play, this idea that people who have achieved enlightenment are always in a constant state of joy and peace with regards to all the things that happen to go on in the world around them. I just can’t see that to be a truth either, I mean if we were supposed to accept things as they are and never do anything to change what we perceive needs changing then when we would ever get the chance to move forward. Yes it is good to focus on things that bring you joy and make you happy, of course that will help you pull more joy and happiness into your world. This does not however mean that we are meant to simply ignore that which we find distasteful or destructive. I think there is a fine line between acceptance and complacency, for example; you can accept that there are those still out there who abuse and take advantage of the innocent, but you do not have to be complacent about it. The one who refuses to stand in front of the gun pointed at a small child is just as guilty as the man who pulls the trigger.
Enlightenment; a tricky word meaning for some to come into the light, to live in the light, to be the light; for others it simply means for goodness sake lighten up (can you guess which version I would consider to be a little more fun to live with). Which by the way brings me to my next topic; have fun, doing what you’re doing, teaching who you are teaching, living how you live; if you aren’t having fun don’t bother. Your misery is just going to bring down everybody else around you.
So am I always happy? Not a chance and yes I do get aggravated from time to time at the behaviors of others, especially when they are in potions in which you would think they would know better. Spiritual authors, teachers, guides and healers have a responsibility to others to be the light they wish to see in the world; not just by spouting words of wisdom and showing people how to sit on the floor legs crossed chanting OM but through their every, action, word and deed. Do I expect them to be any more perfect than myself, certainly not. I would say it is perfectly normal for even the most advanced of us to have a down day but what is important here is for them to admit they had a down day. It is important that those who are teaching others how to be true to self also be true to self and to everybody else for that matter. Can we do away with the putting on of airs and just simply accept that we are all in this together, all of us coming from different levels, and backgrounds and experiences, all with equal value and worth and something valid and truthful to both share and learn from others. In my opinion if we could do that we would have this global family thing down to a fine science and we could get on with more important things like healing our pour planet and finding new ways to play in this amazing world in which we all live.
But again that’s just my truth and does not necessarily have to yours.

Jean Victoria Norloch

Thursday, July 21, 2011

The Blook


I said “hey sis, whatcha do’n?” and she said “writing – what you doing?”
I said “writing... whatcha writ’n bout?”
She said “saving the world”
I said “cool – ya wanna save the world together?”
She said “I thought that’s what we were doing...”
I said “hey big bro, whatcha do’n?” and he said “teaching of course – what have you been doing?”
I said “teaching...whatcha teach’n bout?”
He said “teaching the world it can save itself”
I said “cool – ya wanna teach the world together?”
He said “I was under the impression that that is exactly what we have been doing...”
I said “hey family, wathca do’n?” and they said “healing – what’re you doing?”
I said “cool who are you healing?”
They said “healing ourselves so we can help heal the world”
I said “that’s cool, wanna heal the world together”
They said “We already did....”
We said “Hey world, watcha do’n”
They said “fight’n for FREEDOM – wat r’ you do’n?”
We said “Try’n to tell you not to FIGHT for it – FREEDOM is already YOURS”

Ok so it didn’t go down quite that way, but it is a pretty good representation of the heart and soul behind the conversations that led to the creation of our Blook.
The idea was simple; create a book of inspiring and information packed blogs with the proceeds going to charity. People love blogs and it occurred to me that if we could get enough contributors we could cover a multitude of topics and have those topics explored by a wide variety of perspectives and as a result could open up the doorway for mutual growth and understanding. All I needed was the writers...
Thankfully I am blessed to share my life with some incredibly talented individuals who also happen to have some very big and loving hearts. Authors, Wholitsic healers and shamanistic practitioners jumped at the idea of both spreading a message of love and unity while helping those in need. When approached with the idea their response was an all round enthusiastic “Absolutely – we’re in...”
There really isn’t much more to tell you, for everything you need to know about us and what we do can be found within the following collection of thought and feeling...
We also tossed in some info on the two organizations that we are hoping to support through our work so you pretty much have everything you need to get started...
No not much more to say at all except on behalf of myself and my family...

To learn more about the oraganizations that the proceeds from the sale of The Blook will be going to ... follow the links below...

Shepherd Of The Hills Childrens Foundation

Gaia Centre

To connect with the contributing authors and artists you can again follow the links to their personal websites...

Lucien Clausse

Nancy Gosse

Jacob Israel

Brian Kannard

Rev. Dr. Carol Kilby

Sonja Myriel

Cher Lyn

Rick O'Shields

Rev. Korey Tuttle

If you would like to take a dive in between the covers and see what awaits you - you can check out the content below...

The Blook Excerpts


Tuesday, July 19, 2011

EVERY DAY CONNECTION With Special Guest Momma Webb

Ah, the sweet sound of peaceful harmony with all things, it is so very similar to the soothing tones of tonight’s guest Momma Webb Cat. It was such a wonderful opportunity, to be able to share wisdom and experience with a kindred soul. As usual it would be unfair to give away the details but I will tempt you with a invite to anybody and everybody who has ever felt as if they don’t fit in, don’t belong, don’t feel comfortable living by the rules or up to the expectations of others; this just might be the show for you. Of course we did not stop there and with such an amazing collage of topics to choose from this show might have more than a few of your “Hmmmm?” moments covered. So hit the magic green button and join us for another hour of connected exploration of self...

If we did happen to miss something, or a few somethings and you would like to find Momma Webb you can find her at her website at , you can seek her out via Skype at As always much love from Rick and I - see you all next week xoxo

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Good? Evil? Who are YOU to judge? For that matter who AM I?

Just to be clear on something, just because I write about a topic does NOT mean I think I have all the answers to the questions surrounding that particular issue. What it does mean however is that I am working on figuring this stuff out for myself and as it is in my nature to share what I discover as I discover it, I tend to feel no shame in writing about my latest ‘ah ha’ moment. Lately (ok longer than lately but let’s focus on today shall we) it has seemed to me that much time and energy is being wasted on trivial matters such as world peace, saving the planet and feeding the hungry. Now before you go off on me and get all indignant and up on your pedestal please hear me out and if at the end of this you still want to tear a strip off me by all means feel free to write to me – I welcome wholeheartedly any feedback you may have with regards to this particular idea.
It is not that I think that the things I mentioned above are not important but rather that our approach to changing that which we feel needs to be changed is perhaps a bit twisted. In terms of ‘saving’ our world (a phrase I have come to have much distaste for of late) I would think perhaps there are more important issues to tackle such as self love, teaching our children to follow their dreams and reassuring ourselves and the others we share our lives with that there are no limits to what we can accomplish.
The two previous blogs leading up to this one entitled ‘I’ll Be Damned – The Road To Hell Really Is Paved With Good Intentions’ and ‘Judge NOT Lest YE Be Judged’ were a way for me to work out for myself the importance of accepting this new found idea that perhaps it is time to stop trying to save the world. For as long as I can remember it has been in my heart to help others, perceiving myself to be of some service to those who were, in my mind, in need of some kind of assistance. Be it guidance and wisdom, or money to help get orphaned children off the street or even a harsh shake to wake them up from their slumber it always seemed vastly important to me this work that I was doing. If I could be of help, I thought, then surely my life here on Earth had purpose.
Yet through it all, I struggled constantly with one tiny detail I had overlooked the importance of and that is that if I was not whole and happy within myself and my own life how in the world could I be of any use to others. Yet there in lies the internal torment, for in order to be happy and whole I believed I had to live in a world that was also happy and whole. If there was war I had to do what I could to help bring peace, If there was hunger I had to do what I could to help provide food, If there was doubt I had to do what I could to bring back hope and if there was fear I had to do what I could to restore faith. The struggle came when I ran into those who believed that nothing would ever change, while I believed with all my heart that EVERYTHING was ALWAYS changing and that if we would simply allow the process to play out the world of tomorrow would far exceed our expectations of today. Yet there were those who came and pointed out all the wrongs in the world and asked me how I could believe in love and compassion yet choose to stand idly by and do nothing. So I did something, in fact I did a lot of something’s keeping myself going by convincing myself that I was doing what was right. Until, that is, the day came when I asked myself ‘what is right?’ and ‘who is it right for?’.
And so began the long journey into the realm of good vs. evil and the struggle to not only understand that there was no difference between the two but that each of them existed in compliment not, in opposition to the other. It was a balancing act of the outmost extremes, to live in a world where obviously there was struggle and strife but to see the value in that struggle. That was step one...
For now I think I will skip over all the other steps as it is that if you have been following my blog you will have already read about them and if you read my books you will get a very personal glimpse into the journey itself. So explaining how I got to today would not only take a ridiculous amount of time but would also be a tiring repetition of a journey already taken and I do not much wish to repeat myself anymore.
Eventually though, after all the hard work, frustrations, anger and irritations I really began to look into the meaning of the word acceptance and came to a new understanding with regards to how far the idea of forgiveness can take us.
There is an old saying ‘forgive and forget’ and I have often heard others (and myself) say I will forgive but I may never forget. It was an examination of this that opened my eyes to the fact that it is not the forgiving that is important, it is the forgetting. For if it is that you say that you have forgiven a wrong that somebody has done to you yet you are not able to let go completely of the memory of that wrong then you have in fact not forgiven the person at all, and more than likely you have not yet forgiven yourself for allowing the person to use or abuse you as you perceive yourself to have been used or abused. You remain in a place of judgement, if not of that person, then of their actions and until you are able to remove yourself from that space of judgement, you will also remain venerable to the judgments of others.
Now I realize that this all may seem to a repetition of those other two blogs and perhaps in part it is, yet I feel that in order to wrap it all into one neat little package that may be easily understood and accepted I have to bring all these ideas together into one place at one time. So here we are and for the sake of bringing it all home here we go...
If for one moment you could stand in a space of perfect peace with all that is what would be the key element to that peace... Would it be the cessation of evil as we know it? Would it be the end to struggle and pain? Would it be the successful victory of the war against? (there are too many to name)? Or would it be – could it be, a refusal to acknowledge that there is such a thing as evil, which by the way means that we must also say that its counterpart (good) does not exist.
Now as hard as that concept is to accept, as difficult as it may be to wrap ones head around this idea how much value would it have if all of us were able to not only understand it but to live a life that honours this very idea. In order to make it more humanistic and less religious, I will ask it this way instead; what if you could deal with all your issues in a manner that allows you to see only the most possible beneficial outcome for you at any given moment? What if you could live a life that was in every moment a prefect reflection of your wants and needs and all that you are deep inside? The bitch of it is, you do... we all do... for all time since the beginning of time this has been the way it is and for all that we have lived our lives seeking for the universal truths and the ultimate answer it has been right here within us.
Yet we have spent how many thousands of years pointing the finger at that which is outside of us and placing blame on all the things around us for creating a world that is full of hate and lies and deceit and even when we see a better way we continue to waste our energy trying to convince others that their way is not ‘right’... Where has it brought us, this knowledge of ‘good’ and ‘evil’? To a place of judgement, to place of division, to a place of condemnation and yet we still fight it... After all this time, with all that we have seen and done and learned we still look for that which is outside of us to blame for that which we have accepted as being our reality.
Never has it ever been more clearly stated, that this knowledge of ‘good’ vs. ‘evil’ would be the destruction of life and so I leave you with this thought... (and hopefully a new way of looking at the words and what they mean)
"but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die." Genesis 2:17

Jean Victoria Norloch

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

EVERYDAY CONNECTION - With Special Guest Veronica Torres...

She’s about as real as it gets and when you need to put that human connection back into your everyday connection Veronica is most assuredly the way to go...
We had a BLAST with her on tonight’s show but rather than spoil the fun for you by revealing here what was discussed I’ll simply direct you to little green button and ask you again to press play.
I promise you will not be disappointed...

To find out more about Veronica and what she does please feel free to check out her website at ELOHEIM AND THE COUNCILwhere you will find a plethora of great information and a whole lot of personality. Have fun and as always all my love...
Jean Victoria Norloch

P.S. Don't forget to join us next week while we explore the world of Shenanigans with my much loved and respected friend Momma Webb Cat.

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TRUTH - In The Beginning...

On the Other Side of Truth...
In The Beginning...
“So,” his deep voice rumbled, growing louder as he walked towards where she was resting, “Now what...?”
He stood there, towering over her and she shook herself from her reverie to look up at him and squinted at both the sun and his eyes glaring down at her.
“Oh for God’s sake,” she groaned, “can’t you leave me in peace for even one day?”
“No”, the rumble became a purr as he softened both his voice and his approach, then lowering himself onto the sand beside her he nudged her gently with his shoulder, “you said you had a job to do and then suddenly you decide to retire?”
She sighed and shook her head, “I didn’t decide to retire, they did...” she raised her arm and shook it loosely at the sky, “Or rather”, she added with a giggle, “we did, collectively...” She cocked her head to the side and peeked at him through her long, silver streaked hair, “besides, it’s time. Look around you, they figured it out and now they are using what they have learned. They are doing amazing things, they don’t need us anymore...” She ran her hand along the surface of the sand and under her breath she mumbled, “Sometimes I think, they never did.”
“Have you lost your mind?” He grabbed her arm roughly, “You can’t possibly believe that? After everything you’ve done...”
“Oh,” she retorted angrily pulling her arm away, “and what is it I’ve done that somebody else could not have. No”, she took a deep breath to calm herself, “they would have figured it out on their own, given time, had we not interfered, they would have found their way.” She sighed again and shook her head then looked up into his steel blue eyes, “Why do you care? You never liked them anyways; I thought you would be happy...” She turned towards him and reached her hand up to tenderly touch his face. “Let’s not fight my heart, we managed to make it this far, let’s just move on and find some peace in this. We can get on with our lives now, with no more work to do we can just enjoy simply being. Isn’t that enough?”
“For me, yes of course it’s enough; for you though, I’m not so sure...” He pulled her close and as she rested her head against his massive chest he stroked her hair. “You came here with a purpose, you came here with a mission and it is that purpose that has energized you and kept you whole through so many challenges. You survived things others could not have survived, risen above and overcame fears that would have made grown men weep. Now you tell me you are done; just like that, you think to drop everything and walk away. I know you, you won’t survive this, it’s just a matter of time really, with nothing left to do, you’ll die,” he lifted her chin with his finger so he could look her in the eye, “I promised to protect you remember? Even from yourself...”
“So what then would you have me do?” She spoke softly as a tear leaked from her eye, “Our time here is done. There is nothing left to teach them, they can teach each other, the ones who know will assist those who have yet to see and not so far from now they will create a world far beyond their wildest imaginings.” She smiled a little crooked smile, “you know I was thinking, we could just stay here, and play in the world they create. We could hang out and see what they make of things, allow ourselves to just enjoy somebody else’s vision of beauty. I know it will take time, but really, time is not exactly something you or I have to worry about right, so we could stay and see what happens.”
“And what will you do to pass the time?” He laughed at her now, “You were never very good at doing nothing...”
“Yes,” she agreed smirking up at him, “I never was very good at doing nothing but right now, nothing is exactly what I feel like doing. It’s odd you know, I don’t have much drive left in me, no urge to create, nothing to put down on paper, no visions in my head to paint.” She took another deep breath and let it out slowly adding, “But then it has always been that way, one minute is intense and full of passion, the next minute there is nothing but silence and the strong desire to lie down and rest my weary heart. The only difference is that this time, there is no real rush for me to get back up... “
“Will you? Get back up I mean...” He sounded concerned, which for a demon is quite the feat, but then she mused he was not exactly your garden variety type dark angel. “I’m serious, you asked me if I would help you, and so I reluctantly agreed as long as you don’t expect...”
“You to help them...” she interrupted him, “Yes, yes I know... We’ve been over this.”
“So...” He grumbled, “since when do you tire of repeating yourself, you’ve been doing it for years for them...”
She mildly glanced at him but he knew he was pushing it, “Ok. Ok...” He put his hands up defensively, “I’m not dissing your love for your precious humans, I get it. Really, I do, as much as I thought they would never come around I have to admit the world it is a changing so it would seem your faith in them at least was warranted but... and don’t get mad at me for saying this, it’s not like they haven’t had a tonne of help so to be honest I would at this point be surprised if they had NOT figured it out. My point is that every time you have taken a time out or a break away from your work you get bored, and lady when you get bored...”
“Oh for goodness sakes Demon Boy, I’m not going to do anything rash...” She snorted, “Really you think I would work this hard and get this far only to blow it all up again?”
“Well you have been known to...” He trailed off not wanting to rehash old wounds.
“Yes, I’ve been known to, and every time I have, there has been some kind of reason for it, some kind of outcome that needed my seemingly irrational and radical behaviour to ignite the fires of change. I’m a warrior damn it, like it or not, it’s what I do...”
“Ha,” He barked a laugh, “And that is exactly what I am trying to say... You are a warrior, and what good is a warrior without a battle to fight. You will grow impatient, with nothing to do, and no cause to fight for, you will get restless and in time reckless and if you continue to ignore it you will burst into self made flames and self destruct. I simply can’t allow that”, he chuckled and kissed her forehead, “I like you too much.”
“Well sweetie, I hate to tell you but I don’t think I have a choice.” She offered him a wry smile, and still facing him allowed her next words to flow from her smoothly in the hopes that they may sooth the torment she could feel building up in him. “The time for battles is over, the fight has been won and with any luck it will be a very long time if ever that me and my brethren are needed here again. It’s what we were working towards, what we came for. What’s the point of being here if not to rejoice in the end of two thousand years of struggle and strife? Can’t you just be happy that you will have me all to yourself now? Can’t you just let me rest a while before you start worrying over what may or may not happen to me tomorrow? You never have before, you’ve walked with me through the fires of hells dozens of times without batting an eye or fearing for my safety and now after I have chosen to rest my blade you become anxious and wary of some unforeseen danger. My love, my heart, it makes no sense...What have you now to fear, when up until now you have feared nothing...”
She twisted her body around and rested her back against him giving him a moment to collect his thoughts, very clearly stating without saying a word that for now at least the discussion was over. As she settled into him, again running her delicate hands through the sand, he pondered her words. They had fought side by side for a very long time, he had stood aside more times than he could count when she had been in obvious danger because he had promised long ago that he would only do as she requested. She had warned him not to interfere, and he had kept his word for all these many long years so why now when it seems she and the others like her had decided they had won was he so afraid of losing her. Then it hit him as he sat there with her soaking up the warmth of the sun, it was her very last word that defined his fear; for all that he knew her to be immortal and eternal the one thing that could destroy her was the one thing she was proposing to do now...

Jean Victoria Norloch

Monday, July 11, 2011


A long time ago I knew a man, full of light and love. We would walk along the sandy shores of the land in which we lived and talk about the wonders in that land. I recall a moment in time when the light of the sun had caused a glint on the sand beneath our feet and so he sat there running his fingers through the grains musing about the intricacy of life and all its varied shapes and forms. ‘It is ALL connected’, he would say and place my hands alongside his to feel the heat of the sand that had been warmed by the sun above. He spoke of the flow of what he referred to as a life force through all things, and how it was the ebb and flow of that life force that brought sickness, sorrow, pain and even death yet he would always remind me that that same flow also brought us health, joy, ecstasy and life.
We would wander down roads that would seem by today’s standards not much more than paths and in his wake others would follow and listen to him as he spoke. They knew him to be a teacher, and a guide; a wise man of the people who was able to see and understand things that they could not yet perceive. He asked them simply to call him friend. “This is your home”, he would say to them, “Created for you... A place for you to grow, and explore this wonder we call life. It is a gift,” he would remind us, “a gift that needs be treasured and cared for; a gift that needs be appreciated and loved”. He spoke often of love, of the power that love for others had to heal.
He was a simple man, with simple needs and he had a way of finding reasons to smile in the simplest of things. He was fascinated by trees, and would often stop to rest beneath them explaining that their energy was a comfort to him and helped him to rest peacefully when he was weary. We would take our meals under the shelter of their leaves, as the land in which we lived was hot, the shade was much needed and we would choose to rest during the hottest part of the day only moving on as the sun would wane. It would have been folly to push too hard, as always there were children among the people who walked with us. He loved the children and would often stop his teachings to give his attention to a restless or impatient child. They (the children) were always more important you see and there were times when the teachings of the day would be put on hold until tomorrow so he could go play; running and jumping and climbing trees, always laughing; he never once turned down the chance to have a bit of fun. Playing, he would explain, was more important that hard work, as hard work could bring you things but play could bring you peace.
He would tell us that we could learn much that we had forgotten by watching the children, that through their example we could learn the value of laughter and of enjoying the miracle and wonders of the world in which we live. “If you could only see the world through their eyes,” he would whisper, “then you would know in your heart that all things are new and exciting and all experiences are adventures full of new things to explore.”
He spoke of the value of our emotions, explaining that being grateful for our food and offering it appreciation for the life energy it was giving to us would make the food more beneficial to our health by altering the value and worth of the food. “Your power”, he would explain gently, “is in your emotions and your ability to control them. In this world, created for you, you will only get back from it that which you put in, so if you feed it your anger and your hate then you will experience a world that offers you back anger and hate; offer love to the world and love you will get in turn.”
He had a gentle nature and a light touch, and his voice was always low and smooth like water running over the rocks in a slow moving stream. His words and the wisdom they contained seemed to flow from him, or as he explained to us, flowed through him from a place that held within it the knowledge of all the truths of man. Then he would point to his chest and to us and tell us that we also had that knowledge within us. “It speaks to you, sometimes only a whisper, but the voice it is there within, listen and you will hear”... Always he reminded us to be still and listen, always the promise that we too would understand.
In time many of us came to understand, many of us came to know the things he knew, not through him or his teachings but through our own connection and our own ability to listen. In time our roles changed from wide eyed students, to equals, although in his eyes we had never been less than he; it was, he taught us, up to us to decide that he was no wiser than us.
Time passed and the crowds grew, and although he knew that his presence and his teachings would upset those in power if he continued to draw too much attention, he refused to turn people away or to hide from those who sought to harm him. It was his choice he told us, his life to do with as he pleased and what he did pleased him so he carried on. And so too did his story, long after he was gone his words and wisdoms were passed down by word of mouth by those who had heard him speak. His legacy remained for many years untouched by the subtle changes that often come after a story has been repeated.
It was only after many generations and many hands and hearts that the story changed, although as we watched, again in wonder, we realized that the core of the message had by some miracle remained the same. We would return, he had told us, many times, just as he had come many times before, to live among the people and to help them remember the value of what he had told them. He warned however that the teachings would be misunderstood by many, and that some of the wisdoms he had shared would cause division and sorrow. He explained that for some it would be too hard to accept their own value and worth, too difficult to take on the responsibility of the knowledge he had shared. Others he said, would use the knowledge to build up their own wealth and riches, they would use their gifts to try to control others. It was not our task he told us to fight these people, but rather to do as he had done and through the living of our truths and the example we set by living our lives at peace with one another that we would help others to see the value of these things. Thoughts and feelings he would tell us, those are your strengths and your power, but if you allow them to run wild and uncontrolled they will become your weakness. “Do not waste time”, he warned, “in telling others they are wrong; for those who have eyes to see and ears to hear will know you and through you they will also know the truth and the love that whispers to their hearts.” He also warned us that we would not often be together as the world would grow too large for us to stay in one place; that throughout our wanderings we would stumble on others like us but that our time with them also would be short as it was never meant that we should remain together hiding ourselves and what we had learned from the rest of the world. And so we parted then, knowing it would be a very long time before we would see one another again.
Thousands of years have passed since then, generations have been born, have grown and passed on, societies have risen and fallen and the world as we knew it then has changed far beyond anything we had ever imagined. Yet we remain, as we have always done, fulfilling the promises we made so long ago to take the gifts that he had offered and pass them on others. We wander and explore, and share our lives with those who would welcome us, share our understanding with those who would accept it.
At times the path has seemed lonely, for it is not always easy for others to understand and there are many times when the people we meet become angry with us and accuse us of telling lies. It has been difficult for some of us to not become angry at what we have seen; difficult to not feel disgust at the misuse and abuse of the gifts that he brought. Yet anger, even righteous anger, has no power to heal and so we have learned over the years to accept that this is so, and turn our backs to those who would wish to fight. It is after all not our war to fight and it is not our desire to encourage anger and division. So when we are told that we are sinners, when we are told that we are heretics, we do as we were instructed and walk away, knowing that some day they will come to see and then we will be welcome in our world once again.
The time has come, as many of you know for a shift in perception, for a new understanding and a deeper connection. Although many think it is a time predicted long ago, it is merely one of many that have occurred here on Earth over the years, one of many yet to come. As your world is ever expanding and evolving, ever changing, there is, as has been explained to us, no final destination, no right or wrong way to turn. As it is that during this time of change you are becoming more and more aware of the power within you to create whatever kind of world you wish in which to live we have come yet again to remind you of who you are and of what, when united in your purpose you can do. We have come, yet again to remind you that you have a choice.
Our time however is coming to a close, as we have watched and seen what you have done and are content with the knowledge of what you will create we have opted to take a step back and simply enjoy the experience of living in your creation. We see now that you understand, and we know that it is now safe to place our future into your hands. There is, as of now, not much more for us to do, as you it seems, have already begun to do these things for yourselves. There is not much more for us to teach you, as you have come to a time when you may now surpass the teachers. There is nothing more that we need help you understand as through your understanding you have come to a time when you are ready redefine the limits of your world. You have far exceeded any expectations and the world that you have chosen to create will be a wonder to behold and we will come to see what you have built but the time for messages and guidance is past as you now know the guidance in your heart to be all you need to take you forward into a future of love, light and laughter.
There is one more thing we promised we would do, one more message before choosing to retire we promised we would bring. One more question we need to ask and one more answer we may offer to give; one more chance for you to remember that you also at one time walked along side us rejoicing in the beauty of all that our world has to offer.
The Question... Do you know this man of whom I speak?
The Answer... That man is you...
Jean Victoria Norloch

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged

Judge Not Lest YE Be Judged...
WOO HOO!!! We’re going Biblical...
Ok, so for those of you out there who follow my blogs you are more than likely thinking I’ve gone right off the deep end; I mean it’s not often I wander down this particular path given my insistence in the past that all truths are valid and that our world was never meant to be inhabited by people who all think and act the same. Of course many of you also know my distaste for fanatical beliefs in any one subject and that it is often my want to encourage self examination and exploration of our world with an open heart and open mind.
I wrote a blog not too long ago that seems to have inspired some deeper thinking in some readers with regards to our perceptions of our world and how they affect our reality. Following the line of thinking wherein our thoughts and feelings create the reality that we experience and that we can by altering our view of things actually alter the way those things affect not only us but the world in which we live I explained that it might then be more than possible that the more we wish to fix our world the more we are focussing our thoughts on the fact that our world does indeed still need fixing. At the end of it I managed to come up with one mind blowing thought, ‘The Road To Hell Really Is Paved With Good Intention’. Yikes!!!
Of course I imagine it might also help if we redefined our perception of hell, but then I for one have never really bought into the whole fire and brimstone scenario, not in the way it is presented by some out there who think it a fine idea for all those who have ‘sinned’ to spend the rest of eternity burning in the fires of torment for their indiscretions. I almost apologized for the possibility that what I just said may have offended some of you but I thought better of it and will just instead state that if you are not in a place of understanding that agrees with that last statement then it’s ok, carry on doing your you but I ask that you do your you in a manner that does not interfere with me doing my me; in short do not write me to tell me that I need to spend more time examining the scriptures so that I may come to a place of peace within myself by finding Jesus. I found him a long time ago; he and I are good friends, such good friends in fact that I no longer feel it necessary to place the honorific capital at the front of any word that describes him. It is due to that connection that I no longer feel I should say ‘sorry’ for my understanding or for standing on my truth. So with that said let us dive a little deeper into the truth (or rather my understanding of the truth) of yet another overused and abused quote from the one book that seems to be misquoted and misunderstood above all others.
If we can ditch the whole idea of hell being a place of eternal and everlasting pain and suffering and bring it back a bit to a place where we can equate the idea of hell with an individual perception of the world in which we live then we can open the door to some serious alterations in our way of looking at ‘good’ and ‘evil’. Getting rid of all the excess junk that surrounds those two ideas, devils, demons, angels, the heavenly host and all that jazz and get back into a world that in inhabited by millions of people who are making individual choices every day that affect their lives and the lives of those they share their space and time with. Yes that’s right, people – just people, like you, and me and everybody else out there, trying to make their own way and struggling to also find their place. So if most of those ‘people’ believe that our world sucks, if most of those people believe that there are always enemies to fight, if most of those people believe that everybody else out there is lost in sin what kind of world are we going to be living in?
It’s sad I think that we have allowed ourselves to build so many walls with regards to our brothers and sisters around the world. It’s sad that we have spent so much time in our own search for truth focussing on the fact that the truths of others do not line up with our own. It’s sad that we have allowed ourselves in our desire to be closer to God to drift further away from that which is most beautifully and perfectly a physical representation of the very core of Creation. Created in our image they said, and yet we find it in us to point the finger and shout at our brothers and sisters that they do not know the truth. Sad that we cannot merely accept that all people, in all their varied understandings and perceptions of all things are in fact a shining example of that truth. For you see, if our Father, our Creator, the core of all that is exists and lives in ALL that is then is not ALL that is not divine?
Back to perception and how our own interpretation of our world affects the reality of the world in which we live. If we can point that finger and accuse others of NOT being divine then we have created a world in which NOT ALL THINGS are divine and we embark on a path that in time has us questioning our own divinity and our own connection to God. For if we can definitively say that even one person in our world IS NOT PERFECTION, then my friends we can no longer make the claim that ANY of us ARE.
And so we were warned by a dear old friend of mine long, long ago, “Judge not, lest ye be Judged”... Is it time perhaps to heed his words?
Jean Victoria Norloch

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

EVERDAY CONNECTION - LET"S TALK ABOUT SEX!!!! (with special guest Stacey Kercheval)

Oh yes we did...
Everyday Connection a show that talks about bringing your every day light into your everyday life... kind of gives one the idea that the show is all about spirituality and as such there ought to be some kind of reserved presentation of certain subject matters. Sorry, if you are just finding us now this one might be a bit of a shock and so I feel the warning must be given, this one is NOT a show designed to coddle the sensitivities of the listener. We figured if we are going to talk about something as controversial as sex we might as well give you as much honesty as possible. We brought Stacey back to shake things up a bit and as usual she came through with an in your face look at the judgements and guilt that surround the issue of sexuality. I could go on but really there is no point as nothing I say here is anything that is not covered in this hour long rant about sex and sexuality. Bottom line, at the end of the day the only person who can decide what your feelings about sex are is you... of course that does not stop us from sharing ours.
Hit the little green button and we’ll see you on the other side.

Hope you enjoyed the show, as always my love to you all...
Jean Victoria Norloch

Monday, July 4, 2011

Depression and Self Repression... (my love-hate relationship with the wonder drugs of today)

Depression and Self Repression... (my love-hate relationship with the wonder drugs of today)
First of all – I hate the phrase wonder drug – knowing what I know now, it bothers me on such a deep level that advertisements on TV and Radio for the latest sure fire cure leaves me with a nauseous feeling in my stomach that sometimes takes hours to go away.
Of course it would be completely unfair of me to whine about the overuse and misuse of drugs if I could not offer up a story to explain my distaste for chemical cures so yet again I will reach back a bit in time and pull a few interesting experiences from my ‘been there, done that’ repertoire. I can only ask that you bear with me a little, these memories are old news to me, though for some of you they may come as a shock, please know that they cause me no pain as I have with time come to a more clear understanding of why. In short, don’t you dare feel sorry for me for having gone through what I have gone through – I certainly do not feel sorry for myself and my closest friends will tell you there is a certain level of appreciation and gratitude for these experiences as they have allowed me a very up close and personal look into the lives of those who have suffered loss.
I’m an orphan, but not in the sense that most people would use the word. I did grow up with parents, although one of them was not my blood father. Nonetheless he was my best friend and if a lady has to lose her real father at the young age of 3 there is no better man that I can think of to step up to the challenge of raising a child that is not his own. When I say I am an orphan it is because in my 35 yrs of living I have managed to outlive every single one of my close relatives and given that I got lucky enough to have two dads that means 6 grandparents, 3 parents, and one God-Mother. I could also count the aunts, uncles, cousins and such but we would be here all day; the point of all of this is not to brag about how many funerals I have been to but rather to share a very odd fact with all of you before moving on. From the year of my birth, until this year at least once a year I have had the challenging task of coming to terms with the death of either a family member or a friend. Some years have been worse than others, some have been better but always it is that I lose at least one... So how do you cope? For years I had no idea, for years I had no idea how to deal with this being my reality, for years I struggled to maintain some kind of perspective on this strange life I was living and for years I inevitably ended up going through some kind of crisis that required at least from the Doctor’s perspective some kind of medication based intervention.
So I am thinking to run through a few of the highlights and you will see a common vein of untruth until we get to the end and the birth of my first novel. At 16 I was in a car accident with my God-mother who was also very close to what I would have at the time called a best friend. She was driving a little too fast in snow, lost control and I never got to speak to her again. Shortly after her funeral the doctor discovered I had developed some ulcers which he related to stress; his solution was a combination of a change of diet and anti-depressants; there began my first real experience with masking the problem. Thankfully there were other contributing factors to my emotional state of being and as a result of those I left home, got my own place and could no longer afford the meds. In a very short time my life was back on track, I had an awesome roommate, a great boyfriend, I was holding down two jobs and was finishing school; all of which I was doing medication free and loving it. Looking back now I find it funny that at the time I never realized the connection.
Fast forward to my married life and the misery that was mine as I opted to shove my dreams aside to be a writer so I could work full time, pay the bills and thereby allow my husband at the time to pursue his goal to work in radio. That was a six year run of being medicated on and off at the advice of my doctor who thought that my unhappiness was due to a chemical imbalance in my brain. He did try at one point to go down the bi-polar road but the medication he gave me had near disastrous results as I no longer wished to do anything including feeding my own child. He had come to this glorious conclusion due to my radical swings in mood and my inability to accept that the world was a black and white scenario; even then I saw something more but had no idea how to reach out to it or who to ask for help to find it. Eventually he came back around to simple depression being the cause and I bought the notion of course because the meds made it all that much easier to deal with all the other stuff that life was throwing at me so I dutifully took my pills and kept trying to be the good wife. Eventually of course that failed as it was against my spirits wishes to live that way and in time I could no longer contain my distaste for our materialistic shallow life. I stopped the meds, and by the end of the year was working my way to a divorce, separation papers in hand, and happy to have survived the emotional turmoil.
Fast forward again to the following year and in quick succession my father in law passed away, the divorce was final, my parents became ill, I lost my job because I went to care for them, in time they passed away and I found myself once again back at the doctors who again suggested I take more pills. Nobody bothered to come forward with any kind of alternate solution, and given that my parents had passed away a day apart, both from natural causes, in two different cities, in two different hospitals I can only assume that people pretty much figured I had every right to be devastated. At the time I was trying my best to cope, being a mom I felt it was my responsibility to hold it together, so I did what I had to do to get my head on straight. A few weeks of emotional dumbing down and I was ready to go back to living a sudo-normal life so I tried to go back to school for auto-mechanics but was pulled close to graduation due to a fractured spine. It had taken the doctor 6 months (all of which I was in school working on cars) to diagnose the spine because initially he thought my back pain was caused by depression and had put me on more meds, he figured maybe I had tried to go back to school too soon and was not yet able to cope. I tried to tell him I was in pain and he kept telling me it was connected to my emotional state. When he did finally do the x-ray he was a bit worried at the lumps they found on my spine which turned out to be two herniated discs that had developed as a direct result of me not resting my injured spine. On a good note, it was a compression fracture and the break at least had healed just fine so I had one thing to be grateful for; my back was no longer broken but after a few more months of pain from the herniated discs, my sprit was. I gave in, gave up and took every single little magic pill he could get for me and after about 6 months of living like that I lost all sense of reason. Life as they say was a never-ending blur of pain and repressed sorrow. Now for the good part... some really bad stuff happened (we are talking life altering, devastating to family and friends kind of bad), and in order to keep my daughter I was forced to re-evaluate my position and my sense of self worth. I learned that the only person who could heal me was me and I began rebuilding my life. In time I got off the meds, moved to a new city and went back to work full time. I got my strength back; I kept my daughter and began to rebuild some relationships I had nearly destroyed. Life it seemed was looking up and I was happy for the time being to roll with life’s little punches thinking I had already overcome all the big ones.
Fast track again and this time I lose my final and most important family member, my much loved, cherished, admired bringer of wisdom; my grandmother. Only this time, this time, I did something entirely different. This time I allowed myself to be hurt, I allowed myself time to heal and I allowed myself to explore that pain through my long ago pushed aside desire to write. The doctor tried yet again to put me back on meds when my body started to ache but thanks to my new exploration of self, I recognized something deeper to the pain, something more profound in connection with my physical ailments. This time I took control of my emotional state and this time I honoured my feelings and felt no shame in my sorrow. I never took the pills, what I did instead is still a mystery for those who knew me then, for what I did was to release all of who I was trying to be for the good of others and step into who I was. I left the country for a few weeks and embarked on an adventure into self the likes of which I have never known. The journey has been documented in part in the novels I have written, in part in my blogs and in part in the novels yet to come. As for me, I took the plunge and let go of where I was, pushed aside all the normal cures for what ailed me and found something new to hold onto. I found me, and through the finding of me I discovered that my me has great worth and value and when I live in my truth I don’t have to work at loving life and the people I share it with, it just comes; naturally, easily and with great intensity.
Now I am not saying that all those out there afflicted with emotional instability or depression are victims of societal or environmental repression of self but I do argue that it needs to be looked at from a new angle. From my own experience, each and every time I ‘broke down’ which meant drastic moods swings, loss of appetite, loss of sleep and all over body aches and pains, it was a direct result of me doing everything I could to keep others around me happy. I was desperate to please the people I shared my life with and when it came to expectations for my ability to cope with sorrow and loss I did everything in my power to not let anybody see how much I was suffering. My goal was to be strong; for them, for me and in retrospect for my own protection. I figured if I could keep the family happy they would leave me alone. Even my parents funeral was arranged to cater to the needs of others, although my brothers and I could have done quite nicely which a much more discreet farewell we opted for the big fanfare joint funeral complete with matching outfits. Why? Because it helped others to cope with a very strange situation and for me at the time it was all about the others.
So what changed my mind? Two things; as we had plenty of warning that my treasured grandmother was on her way home I had the opportunity to spend much time with her to bask in her glow a few more times before she left and it is her wisdom that sent me diving into self and discovering a whole new way of looking at the world. The first thing she told me was that she knew that her family would interfere and make all kinds of suggestions as to what to do with my life after she was gone. She also knew that in their opinion they knew exactly what was best for me; she however told me very directly that it was me and only me who knew what was best for me. “Listen to your heart and follow that”, she warned, “if they push too far, you have my permission to tell them all to go to hell, they don’t know you or understand you and they never will, not as I know you. Do what you need to do to be happy and love doing it, the rest will all fall into place”.
Then the final words that altered my path for ever, spoken to me a couple days before she died and the very last thing she ever said to me. “I’m proud of you”...
I mulled that one little line over for months, because at the time there was absolutely nothing in my mind that I had accomplished that she ought to be proud of. After much thought and consideration I finally came to the conclusion that it was not what I had done with my life that she was proud of but rather of who I was in my heart; she knew it better than anybody and if she in her final days, being the incredible loving women that she was could see something in that heart of value then so could I. I set out to prove her right but in keeping with her wishes I did it my way.
Along the way a lot of people dropped off my radar because they just did not understand, some wandered back my way in time and we remain friend even now when my work takes me into realms of understanding that they simply wish not to go. Others stayed right beside me, never asking or implying that I ought to do things any other way and new friends came to share my world and explore with me the potentials of it. It was through the compassion and understanding of these people that I survived a very harsh look in the mirror and a traumatic alteration in my perception of self.
Today I still live a sudo-normal life, only this time it is on my terms; I am medication free, I have a family of my own and a home to take care of, we share our home with a couple pets and I do normal things like cleaning, cooking and taking the kids to school. But I also write, oh boy do I write, and do talk shows on the internet and council people going through loss and trauma and I do my very best to not interfere with their own perceptions of how the world should work. I advocate honesty with self and with everybody you meet but first and foremost with self. If you cannot be honest about who you are then you will never really get to explore the vast potential of you.
I don’t play by the rules that society sets out for me, it’s just not my kind of game and I refuse to break myself to live up to the expectations of others. I am stronger and more alive than ever before and if I had to do it all again I promise you I would so that I could be here today to tell you one very important fact. That although not all manic episodes can be considered to be an awakening, I for one would hesitate to medicate anybody who is seeking help to live a ‘normal’ life in line with what society perceives as being acceptable. Sometimes all these people need is a way to openly express their angst, to explore new ways to develop the part of themselves that is buried deep inside and bursting to get out. The longer you keep a wild animal caged the sooner it loses the will to live.
I realize now that I could have stayed in the big house, with the two cars and been the dutiful wife who cooked, cleaned and told her husband everyday how grateful she was to be cared for; I could have, but I would not have survived because long before I learned how to live I first had to learn what it meant to die.
Jean Victoria Norloch