Thursday, July 14, 2011

Good? Evil? Who are YOU to judge? For that matter who AM I?

Just to be clear on something, just because I write about a topic does NOT mean I think I have all the answers to the questions surrounding that particular issue. What it does mean however is that I am working on figuring this stuff out for myself and as it is in my nature to share what I discover as I discover it, I tend to feel no shame in writing about my latest ‘ah ha’ moment. Lately (ok longer than lately but let’s focus on today shall we) it has seemed to me that much time and energy is being wasted on trivial matters such as world peace, saving the planet and feeding the hungry. Now before you go off on me and get all indignant and up on your pedestal please hear me out and if at the end of this you still want to tear a strip off me by all means feel free to write to me – feenxrising@gmail.com I welcome wholeheartedly any feedback you may have with regards to this particular idea.
It is not that I think that the things I mentioned above are not important but rather that our approach to changing that which we feel needs to be changed is perhaps a bit twisted. In terms of ‘saving’ our world (a phrase I have come to have much distaste for of late) I would think perhaps there are more important issues to tackle such as self love, teaching our children to follow their dreams and reassuring ourselves and the others we share our lives with that there are no limits to what we can accomplish.
The two previous blogs leading up to this one entitled ‘I’ll Be Damned – The Road To Hell Really Is Paved With Good Intentions’ and ‘Judge NOT Lest YE Be Judged’ were a way for me to work out for myself the importance of accepting this new found idea that perhaps it is time to stop trying to save the world. For as long as I can remember it has been in my heart to help others, perceiving myself to be of some service to those who were, in my mind, in need of some kind of assistance. Be it guidance and wisdom, or money to help get orphaned children off the street or even a harsh shake to wake them up from their slumber it always seemed vastly important to me this work that I was doing. If I could be of help, I thought, then surely my life here on Earth had purpose.
Yet through it all, I struggled constantly with one tiny detail I had overlooked the importance of and that is that if I was not whole and happy within myself and my own life how in the world could I be of any use to others. Yet there in lies the internal torment, for in order to be happy and whole I believed I had to live in a world that was also happy and whole. If there was war I had to do what I could to help bring peace, If there was hunger I had to do what I could to help provide food, If there was doubt I had to do what I could to bring back hope and if there was fear I had to do what I could to restore faith. The struggle came when I ran into those who believed that nothing would ever change, while I believed with all my heart that EVERYTHING was ALWAYS changing and that if we would simply allow the process to play out the world of tomorrow would far exceed our expectations of today. Yet there were those who came and pointed out all the wrongs in the world and asked me how I could believe in love and compassion yet choose to stand idly by and do nothing. So I did something, in fact I did a lot of something’s keeping myself going by convincing myself that I was doing what was right. Until, that is, the day came when I asked myself ‘what is right?’ and ‘who is it right for?’.
And so began the long journey into the realm of good vs. evil and the struggle to not only understand that there was no difference between the two but that each of them existed in compliment not, in opposition to the other. It was a balancing act of the outmost extremes, to live in a world where obviously there was struggle and strife but to see the value in that struggle. That was step one...
For now I think I will skip over all the other steps as it is that if you have been following my blog you will have already read about them and if you read my books you will get a very personal glimpse into the journey itself. So explaining how I got to today would not only take a ridiculous amount of time but would also be a tiring repetition of a journey already taken and I do not much wish to repeat myself anymore.
Eventually though, after all the hard work, frustrations, anger and irritations I really began to look into the meaning of the word acceptance and came to a new understanding with regards to how far the idea of forgiveness can take us.
There is an old saying ‘forgive and forget’ and I have often heard others (and myself) say I will forgive but I may never forget. It was an examination of this that opened my eyes to the fact that it is not the forgiving that is important, it is the forgetting. For if it is that you say that you have forgiven a wrong that somebody has done to you yet you are not able to let go completely of the memory of that wrong then you have in fact not forgiven the person at all, and more than likely you have not yet forgiven yourself for allowing the person to use or abuse you as you perceive yourself to have been used or abused. You remain in a place of judgement, if not of that person, then of their actions and until you are able to remove yourself from that space of judgement, you will also remain venerable to the judgments of others.
Now I realize that this all may seem to a repetition of those other two blogs and perhaps in part it is, yet I feel that in order to wrap it all into one neat little package that may be easily understood and accepted I have to bring all these ideas together into one place at one time. So here we are and for the sake of bringing it all home here we go...
If for one moment you could stand in a space of perfect peace with all that is what would be the key element to that peace... Would it be the cessation of evil as we know it? Would it be the end to struggle and pain? Would it be the successful victory of the war against? (there are too many to name)? Or would it be – could it be, a refusal to acknowledge that there is such a thing as evil, which by the way means that we must also say that its counterpart (good) does not exist.
Now as hard as that concept is to accept, as difficult as it may be to wrap ones head around this idea how much value would it have if all of us were able to not only understand it but to live a life that honours this very idea. In order to make it more humanistic and less religious, I will ask it this way instead; what if you could deal with all your issues in a manner that allows you to see only the most possible beneficial outcome for you at any given moment? What if you could live a life that was in every moment a prefect reflection of your wants and needs and all that you are deep inside? The bitch of it is, you do... we all do... for all time since the beginning of time this has been the way it is and for all that we have lived our lives seeking for the universal truths and the ultimate answer it has been right here within us.
Yet we have spent how many thousands of years pointing the finger at that which is outside of us and placing blame on all the things around us for creating a world that is full of hate and lies and deceit and even when we see a better way we continue to waste our energy trying to convince others that their way is not ‘right’... Where has it brought us, this knowledge of ‘good’ and ‘evil’? To a place of judgement, to place of division, to a place of condemnation and yet we still fight it... After all this time, with all that we have seen and done and learned we still look for that which is outside of us to blame for that which we have accepted as being our reality.
Never has it ever been more clearly stated, that this knowledge of ‘good’ vs. ‘evil’ would be the destruction of life and so I leave you with this thought... (and hopefully a new way of looking at the words and what they mean)
"but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die." Genesis 2:17

Jean Victoria Norloch
www.feenxrising.blogspot.com
www.feenxrising.ning.com

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