Sunday, July 24, 2011

Take These Broken Wings (an excerpt from my new book - unedited)

This particular chapter might be a tad long, but it is an important glimpse into my current understanding; the same understanding that allowed me to go from not able to dress myself to being able to touch my toes in the period of one month. This chapter is part of the new book I am soon releasing on healing self, it is unedited and very blunt. Yet given that my recovery was shocking to my doctor it seemed prudent to document the journey I took to discover the power within.

Take These Broken Wings...
So named because only moments before I began work on this chapter the video for that particular song arrived in my inbox; it was one of my favourites growing up and even then I viewed the message of love within to be much more than that of the love between a man and woman. Mr. Mr., such an oddly named group of closet romantics, creators of some of the greatest music of that time, music that had lasting power due to the universal truths that could be found in the lyrics. “Take these broken wings and learn to fly again in love so free, and when we hear the voices sing the book of love will open up and let us in”...
I had to read the previous chapter a few times to digest it and come to terms with just how well my US knows my me, and as hard as it is been to admit I realize now that I did need George. Due to my own unwillingness to see value and worth in my own experiences, to see the strength and power of my personal connection to the Creator I needed something to validate the information that my heart was telling me to be my Truth. I imagine that George will always be my way of explaining those whispers in my heart that I now know to be that of both self and of the energy that Created me. Yet to my understanding it goes so much further than that and it is something that I think I am going to enjoy immensely exploring the truth of in the coming year. Before we get into it however I would like to toss in a couple other things that happened to come up a few moments before I began to write.
Also in my inbox a message from Neale Donald Walsch’s messenger service to which I subscribed over a year ago and now only occasionally get messages from. Today’s random “I Believe God Wants You to Know” was the following.... “that imagination is your greatest gift. Do not be afraid to use it. Imagine yourself as being okay right now. Totally okay. Imagine yourself as Whole, Complete, and Perfect. With nothing to change, nothing to "improve." Imagine your heart as being open again, your life as if it were starting over in the most important ways. Can you imagine this? Then you have just created Tomorrow.”
It makes perfect sense of course given the previous chapter, and my desire to further my work as a completely whole integrated blended being. I imagine that it is in the knowing that all is well and as it should be that I will find the strength and the courage to stand behind the things I have written about in the past, the things I am writing about now and the things I will continue to share with my readers in the future.
Not wanting to ignore the trend that seemed to be developing as far as the accuracy of the messages that we call to us for confirmation in times of need I went exploring a little and checked out my horoscope for the day...
Courtesy of
March 10, 2011
There's a thin haze between your reality and your inner mind today, but it's not an unpleasant sensation at all. It's like you're hovering above it all, looking down on your life from a whole new vantage point. Routine people and places take on new significance and open your mind to novel methods and goals. Your emotions are even right now, so it could be a good time to initialize a difficult conversation with someone you care about.”
Interesting that, when you think about it; given the place I find myself in today, embarking on this new acceptance of self as being completely whole and perfectly capable in my wholeness to also be completely well and to share my wellness with others. Routine people will take on whole new meaning as I look at them through the eyes of perfection and see them as being perfectly perfect as they are. This by the way is a uniquely novel idea in our day and age when our beliefs are still coloured by our perceptions of the faults in others. As for initiating a difficult discussion with somebody I care about well I imagine that would be you my readers as it is there are still a couple difficult topics I am wishing to touch on before we move onto the next chapter. Some of what I will have to say may not be easy for some out there to hear yet they are my own thoughts and observations and I feel it is well within my right to share them.
Finally in keeping with an old tradition began way back when I wrote my first novel, I thought it might be fun to also check out my daily Tarot...
Also courtesy of
“The Three of Swords card suggests that my power today lies in truth or consequences. Denial or control is no longer an option and I am ready to experience a breakthrough. My suffering, fear, or emotional loss is/was valid, incredible and deserves to be acknowledged and expressed in order to heal or transform the sacrifice. I am empowered by recognition and my virtue is choice.”
I swear I did not read these before writing the previous chapter and only went searching for them after reading the chapter a few times myself and seeing an opportunity to perhaps validate some of what was explained within it. Of course as usual, as I ask, so too is it given and confirmation galore comes forth.
So where does it leave us, nearing the end of this little adventure into self, what have I learned?
I guess I have to start with acknowledging that I have come to terms with who and what I am, although I still can’t walk on water my worth and value as an author are no longer a part of my inner struggle. I might yet someday decide to try the whole walking on water thing but to be honest I am rather hoping to not go it alone and if and when I do accept within me the power to do such things it will be not something that others would view as miraculous as they too will have found the power also within them. Perhaps then we can stroll across oceans together and banter about the ‘good old days’ when we needed boats to float, and planes to fly. I believe that in time we as a race will get there and though many may argue the point I doubt very much you will ever shake my faith in that idea; I see us as an ever advancing species; constantly evolving with no limits to our potential or to where our evolution will take us. I see in my minds eyes a world where miracles abound, and are therefore no longer considered to be anything other than our everyday way of making our lives easier and for the most part much more fun.
As for when we will get there well I guess that brings up the first touchy topic to tackle (say that three times fast).
Ascension vs. evolution…
When you ascend you go back home, to source, until you come back here to evolve; when you evolve you get to stay here and do things to change the world in which we live in, the idea being of course that you have as much fun as possible while you are doing it.
I spent a lot of time in the last year hanging out with different people who had a variety of different views on what these two words mean to us as a race of beings. The arguments are still being made as to what lies in store for us in the upcoming years of transformation and theories run rampant among the various light worker and healer communities. They are all of course entitled to their own opinion as far out and wacky as some of them seem to be they might turn out to be right if they can convince enough of the population that they are. As it is my understanding of how this whole mass consciousness thing works, we have to collectively decide as a whole which direction we wish to go in order to affect the entire planet. The collective intent has to reach a critical mass if it is to change things on a global scale in the way that some of our current leaders and healers have suggested it will. There are a whole bunch of them out there, offering up their thoughts and feelings on this very important issue and for the most part they seem to be pretty much in alignment with one another although on closer examination you may see some glaring differences in their perceptions of what our future is going to be. Many claim to ‘know’ definitively what is going to be and how it is going to occur; some even claim to ‘know’ exactly when it will all take place. What I find interesting is that after studying some of those who claim to know the appropriate dates and times I have come to the conclusion that as the world changes so to do the dates of ascension.
So far for all the material I have read, watched, studied and discussed I have had to come to a very stunning conclusion; not a one of them has a clue as to how exactly this is all going to turn out. I do however have an idea as to why that is and it has come to me through a few discussions with others who have noticed the same thing. The most honest answer I have ever gotten from anybody with regards to the future and the much talked about 2012 is that they really have no idea since humanity as a whole has not made up its’ mind yet in which direction they would like to fly the evolution ship. Will there be aliens? I dunno? Do you want there to be? Could be fun if they are nice aliens…
Will there be mass destruction, death and the planetary cleansing that some have claimed to be imminent? I dunno? Do you want there to be? I doubt that would be much fun…
Or will there be a gradual shift in thought and feeling? A gentle awakening to self on an individual basis leading into the awareness of being a part of a collective whole? Will we through this new revelation of our inner power use it to heal ourselves, each other and by extension our Mother Earth? Will we learn to live in harmony with our Mother and find peace in our acceptance of our unity while rejoicing in our diversity and individuality? Will we continue this process of evolution with a new appreciation for the experience and the process knowing that it is through this process and experience that our whole (God) may continue also to expand and to grow?
Sounds much more fun to me to do it that way, sounds more like an adventure does it not? More interesting, as it will give us time to learn more about each other and our world while we learn to work together to build a self sustaining global community that nurtures our planet instead of robbing her of her virtues. Yes much more fun…
But if you would like to do it another way by all means go ahead, the choice as they say is yours. That brings me to my next topic, the discussion of what reality is. It is my understanding that the magical truth about the ALL is that time and space do not essentially exist outside of our perception of it. In short there is nothing there really except our visions birthed from our thoughts and our feelings. If this is true then we can change it as much and as often as our understanding of these things will allow us to. When we speak in terms of reality I imagine that if you could cross the matrix with Harry Potter, add in a little Star Wars (the teachings of Yoda) and sprinkle in a bit of Star Gate (interdimensional travel) we might be getting close to the truth of it. The trouble is they (our leaders and scientists) are only now beginning to understand this on a level that they can and are willing to pass this information onto the rest of the world wide population. Some of these things they have known for decades but have been unwilling to share for a multitude of reasons. Some of them would prefer I am sure to keep us all unaware of our power so that they may in turn stay in power. Some believe the race of humans to not yet be ready for these truths on a global scale, thinking humans to be still too self-destructive and selfish. There are no doubt varying degrees of this yet for all their work to keep their secrets too much of the world has through the use of the internet and other various forms of global communication been able to assist each other in seeking out the truth and so secrets that have been kept for decades are now finally being revealed. It is all part of the process of course, it is how we evolve our understanding; this sharing of information is how we grow and expand as a race and how ultimately we will join forces as a whole connective force intent on healing our world.
Healing our world; this brings now to mind the next observation that I feel I need to share. Although it may make some not so happy to hear I feel as I have just recently went through the process I should probably clarify my own stance on healing. There are too many different ways out there to mention or even keep track of and as I have already said it is up to each person to figure out what works for them. I do have some words of caution however; it would appear that there is a rather large amount of healers out there who are doing their best to make sure people never get better. As much as that may shock you, it seems to me that many of them are rather enjoying the position they now have with regards to having the welfare and general wellbeing of others in their hands. As much as this has often been said about our large pharmaceutical companies and other corporate conglomerates I now have to point out that they may not be alone in this action. I cannot speak to the volume of how many out there are doing this but from my own experience I have run into a few healers who go to great lengths to stretch out the healing process, make it last and even in some cases set their patients up for a fall or relapse. Yes I am talking about those in the wholistic healing community, as sad as that may seem; it happens. As to the why of it happening I imagine they too have varied reasons for this and many of the offenders likely have no idea they are doing it. You see it occurred to me while I was going through the process of healing myself that it was those who were working with me to help me heal myself were doing so for the sake of helping me get better so I would have the strength to continue my journey. Those however who were telling me how they could make me better were doing so for the sake of the sense of self worth and importance they felt in the act of healing somebody. I even asked one of these people at one point to teach me how to do it myself rather than do it for me, to which he responded that it was not something that you could just learnt over night and it took years of practice to accomplish such a feat. Well that’s bullshit, as it is now March and as of a little over a month ago I could hardly walk without crying and now I am almost back to full mobility and my pain is something I only think on when it seems important to remember how much pain I was in. As to that remembering my pain thing, I only do it long enough to remind myself what others out there who are suffering are going through so I may stay in a place of empathy with regards to their struggles; I do not however revisit it long enough to allow it to take over. I have played with that as well and it is possible if after a few hours of concentrating on the pain you used to feel that the pain will come back full force. I was shocked to discover that it was my denial of the pain that was in effect keeping it at bay but it seems only now to come back if I allow it to. How on earth that takes years to teach is beyond me but then I suppose if you need to feel needed it does not do to have your patients miraculously heal, because once they are healed they don’t much need you anymore.
The same can be said for teachers and guru’s as well, some of them out there are taking the long way around at teaching people what they know making a big production out of it; and I might add making a killing off their students (financially) while they are at it. While I cannot sit here and offer up the truth that all truths are valid then tell you that some of the organizations claiming to be schools of healing and learning are full of crap I can offer you the advice to always be cautious in your approach when it comes to who you are going to offer your time and energy to. Trust me when I tell you, not all the people out there have your best interests at heart and though I would like to believe that humans are essentially good there are times when power can get to a person’s head. It would seem sometimes that the bigger the group gets the more the leaders of it feel they have to fight to keep it alive and growing. Watch that you don’t get burned, that’s all… because even some of those who I wrote about in my second book turned out not to be who they said they were and no names mentioned by me but it may have been better for me perhaps if I had double checked some of my info before aligning with people who turned out to not be on the up and up. (for that I am sorry it was not of course my intention to lead anybody astray but we live and learn. I have never claimed to be anywhere close to perfect, the way I see it the day I reach perfection is also the day I am perfectly dead – perfection is not for the living – it would just be too damn boring)
There are some powerful and well grounded teachers of truth out there, some very loving people whose soul desire it is to see our planet and its people advance to a time of peace and unity. You can find them everywhere around the world and they all use different methods and techniques to assist their students to open their hearts and minds to their own inner light. I applaud them for their efforts as well as the time and love that they show to each individual who crosses their path; they are the living examples of blended beings of our time and you will know them when you see them. They are genuine, never hiding where they have come from, where they have been or past choices they may have made that at the time might have been viewed by others to be mistakes. It is in the opening up of their hearts to yours that they encourage you to find the strength to heal and if you allow them they will gently guide you to your next step and celebrate on your behalf after you have moved on. A good teacher or guide knows their student will not always be around because if you are a teacher or a guide who is doing his/her job properly then your student should eventually not need you anymore. That is a day to rejoice.
If however your teacher or guide is filling you full of the idea that their way is the only way… you need to reevaluate if this particular teacher or guide is right for you. There are too many paths to truth for one way to be the only way, and yes I realize almost every Christian in the world is going to be screaming at me right now that Christ is the only path to righteousness but my answer to that is … Yes you are right but your understanding of that truth is possibly a little different than mine.
As it is my understanding that the word Christ does not so much represent a person as it does the connection between man and God, to be awakened to the Christ consciousness is to be aware of the ever present connection between you and source energy (that of the Creator) that flows forth into all that has been created. Jesus is often called Christ and vice versa yet when I think about Jesus and the life he lived I see him as a living breathing example of Christ consciousness and through his time here on Earth as a blended being he became the representation of Christ here on Earth. The problem with this is that some seem to view this as something special and unique yet he himself often said that he was no different from those he ministered to and it is in my heart to state quite plainly that I would think he would be irritated just a tad at how high he has been elevated above the common people who he so cherished. I have for the most part in my writings maintained the respectful habit of capitalizing the first letter of any word that was meant to represent Jesus yet there have been times when it has been more than tempting to not bother to do it at all. So in keeping with my new belief that I have to stand by my me I have not done so in this chapter, Interestingly enough I noticed today they don’t do it in the Bible either, so why should I? Blasphemy you cry… but honestly I do not believe that is how he wished to be remembered, I would think that the only time he would want you to elevate him to the title of son of God is when you elevate yourself right along with him; that was his goal, to help man elevate himself to a place of freedom. Sigh… but I guess some of us got that just a little twisted round and I suppose that too is as it was meant to be.
Sadly it has led many down a path of self righteousness as a opposed to righteousness and for all that the New Age community wars constantly with the Christians with regards to this issue neither group is in my opinion one lick better than the other. Before you get up in my face about this please allow me to explain. Among the Christians there are some purely good people who only desire to help others, they live for the most part quietly content with their knowledge of Christ, spend time with their Christian friends celebrating the word of God and in their free time they offer up some of their own energy and love to those in need by way of volunteering to care for the sick or feeding the hungry. If of course somebody asks them where their strong sense of inner peace comes from they are more than happy to explain yet for the most part you would never know they are Christians except perhaps by the radiating glow of love that emanates from the very core of their being. A glow you will no doubt feel and bask in if you get close enough; it is this light that pulls others to come to understand the value of connecting to the spirit. On the other hand there are a whole bunch of Light Workers out there who have never set foot in a church in their life but understand fully the value and importance of caring for their fellow man because they recognize fully the interconnectedness of all things. These you can find just about anywhere and it is again doubtful that you would know them to be children of the New Age unless of course they happen to offer you healing or assistance of some kind when you seem to be struggling with either your physical or emotional health. They will offer a gentle supporting hand and guidance if you request it but they do not go out looking for people to help; they expect that as their understanding of the universe is that as long as they live a life of peace, serenity and love those in need will be drawn to them at the appropriate time.
Then we have those others, and we could list almost every single belief system out there because out of all of these teachings have come students who fully understand the value and the importance of the teachings when integrating those teachings into their everyday lives. They love and live the truths they have learned and do so with a quiet acceptance that their truth may be different than others and make no judgments of others for going their own way and living their own truths… Often times this leads them also into careers in the arts or healing and regardless of what belief system they learned to connect through they cherish that knowledge and use it to further bring peace not just into their own lives but also into the lives of everybody they happen to share their time with.
All in all, the pursuit of connection to the spirit seems to be a very healing thing for all involved; until of course you come across a fanatic, somebody who is of that rare breed who has the idea set in their head and their heart that their path to God is the only path to God and there may be no other allowable path to God. They have studied diligently for a lifetime the teachings of their chosen faith with eyes closed to the possibility that their faith may not be the only legitimate faith. These people should be avoided if you can manage, as it does no good really to fight them on it, trust me when I say it is not likely they will change their minds. Fanatics come from all belief systems but as we are for the moment discussing the Christians and the New Agers allow me to further my explanation of this phenomenon.
Enter the Christian who claims that to believe that Jesus died on the cross to save us all is the only way for mankind to be saved…I have had conversations with these kinds of people before and they do not enjoy my more open minded view. I asked a priest once to explain to me how he could justify the idea of some poor tribal member in the jungle going to hell simply because he has never seen a Bible or heard of Jesus. The man told me that it is the responsibility of the Christian to make sure that the word of God is spread to others, and if the poor jungle man ends up in hell it is due to the failings of the Christians for not reaching out far enough into the world to bring the good word deep into the jungles of Peru. So I asked just to clarify; if that is the case and the Christian believes in Jesus dying on the cross to save us from our sins but the poor dude from the Peruvian rainforest goes to hell when he dies because the Christian failed at his given task does the Christian then still get to go to Heaven. Oddly the priest did not have an answer…
Another man however was so stuck on his faith that he had no qualms about spouting illogical and irrational thoughts. I challenged him by asking if a woman who had dedicated her life to raising abandoned children, taking them from the street, providing for them food, shelter, clothing, education and love died would she go to heaven or hell… His answer was Heaven of course… So what, I added if she happened to be say… a Muslim… Hell was his next answer and what stunned me is that he sounded really sad about it as if his heart told him it should not be so yet he could not bring his mind to contemplate any other possibility.
So every once in a while it appears that you will get the odd Christian who fully believes that if you do not accept that Christ died on the cross to save us from our sins, no matter that you were raised in a jungle oblivious to the teachings of the Bible or that you had given your life over to the service of your fellow man; you are still screwed and you’re going to hell. Sorry I just don’t buy it and to those people I have to say ‘get over yourselves’. Believing in Christ does not mean you have a one way ticket to heaven love, sorry that’s not the way it works…
But if you don’t believe me here is what Jesus himself had to say on the matter…
Mathews 7: 21
“Not everyone who calls me ‘Lord, Lord’ will enter the kingdom of Heaven, but only those who do what my Father in Heaven wants them to do.” 22 “When the judgment day comes, many will say to me, “Lord, Lord! In your name we spoke God’s message, by your name we drove out many demons and performed many miracles!”23”Then I will say to them, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me you wicked people”
Luke 9 :46
“An argument broke out among the disciples as to which one of them was the greatest.”47”Jesus knew what they were thinking, so he took a child, stood him by his side,”48”and said to them, ‘whoever welcomes this child in my name, welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me also welcomes the one who sent me. For the one who is least among you all is the greatest”.
Now you can interpret these to mean anything you wish them to, for myself I believe that it was ever Jesus’ message to understand the importance of both the connection to spirit and to each other. He cautioned his listeners often against pride and for me it was his way of encouraging them to not feel that their knowledge in any way raised them above others. I have never felt that is was OK to be proud of our knowledge of God; to rejoice in it yes, to be enthusiastic about it most certainly, to revel in the feeling of it, absolutely but never to dangle that knowledge over the hearts and minds of those who may not understand. For me it has never been enough to just simply shout praises to the Lord, and it is in my heart to acknowledge that those who live a life in line with Jesus’ teachings even if they have never heard his name will still find their way to heaven as it was through his life that he set an example for salvation and taught us how to bring heaven to us here on Earth.
Christian’s it seems are not alone with their Ego. One of the terms I have found of late to be the most aggravating to me with regards to the New Age community is the term enlightened. There are those who walk around with this sense of huge ego due to the time they have spent studying the ancient teachings that are being brought forth now in our times of trial. To be more than blunt there is nothing more irritating to me than the person who claims to be enlightened and then spends most of their energy wasted on focusing on how many people are NOT…
I have recently been chatting with a new friend about his journey into self and his own personal experiences with his quest for knowledge and truth. One of the things he often states is that he has had to let go of this person or that person in the last year because he found them to not be integrous (his word not mine and one he uses much too frequently for my liking) and since he wishes to surround himself with those of a more enlightened mind he cannot bare the company of those who have less integrity than he…
Give it a rest already, if you truly understood the term enlightened you would also get the hint that wherever a person is at any given moment on their path is exactly where they are meant to be because it is exactly where they have chosen to be. Opps… which means by pointing these few facts out that I myself am not quite there yet. Or does it?
That’s where another confusing element to this comes into play, this idea that people who have achieved enlightenment are always in a constant state of joy and peace with regards to all the things that happen to go on in the world around them. I just can’t see that to be a truth either, I mean if we were supposed to accept things as they are and never do anything to change what we perceive needs changing then when we would ever get the chance to move forward. Yes it is good to focus on things that bring you joy and make you happy, of course that will help you pull more joy and happiness into your world. This does not however mean that we are meant to simply ignore that which we find distasteful or destructive. I think there is a fine line between acceptance and complacency, for example; you can accept that there are those still out there who abuse and take advantage of the innocent, but you do not have to be complacent about it. The one who refuses to stand in front of the gun pointed at a small child is just as guilty as the man who pulls the trigger.
Enlightenment; a tricky word meaning for some to come into the light, to live in the light, to be the light; for others it simply means for goodness sake lighten up (can you guess which version I would consider to be a little more fun to live with). Which by the way brings me to my next topic; have fun, doing what you’re doing, teaching who you are teaching, living how you live; if you aren’t having fun don’t bother. Your misery is just going to bring down everybody else around you.
So am I always happy? Not a chance and yes I do get aggravated from time to time at the behaviors of others, especially when they are in potions in which you would think they would know better. Spiritual authors, teachers, guides and healers have a responsibility to others to be the light they wish to see in the world; not just by spouting words of wisdom and showing people how to sit on the floor legs crossed chanting OM but through their every, action, word and deed. Do I expect them to be any more perfect than myself, certainly not. I would say it is perfectly normal for even the most advanced of us to have a down day but what is important here is for them to admit they had a down day. It is important that those who are teaching others how to be true to self also be true to self and to everybody else for that matter. Can we do away with the putting on of airs and just simply accept that we are all in this together, all of us coming from different levels, and backgrounds and experiences, all with equal value and worth and something valid and truthful to both share and learn from others. In my opinion if we could do that we would have this global family thing down to a fine science and we could get on with more important things like healing our pour planet and finding new ways to play in this amazing world in which we all live.
But again that’s just my truth and does not necessarily have to yours.

Jean Victoria Norloch

1 comment:

  1. thank you my friend . . . a blessing you are to us all . . .
    all love